Besok Mungkin Kita Sampai and Untuk Apa/Untuk Apa? by Hindia hit different when you’re on twenty-something.

Like for real…everyone around me is getting married, having babies, or even continuing their studies, and here I am still crying over the same shits I had in the office or to some fictional character that didn’t exist. Sometimes I wonder what did I do wrong in this life and why am I the only one who feels so lost AND hasn’t married at this age? They said everyone has a different timeline and that we can’t compare our journey. But of course, it’s easier said than done. Society expects us to get married after 25, having babies on 26, and then living their perfect life on 27.

(Eh, you’re still young tho! 27 isn’t that old and you still have a long way to go.)

Yeah, tell that to my family or even people around me.

“Kapan nikah? Kapan nyusul? Kapan nyebar undangan? Kapan? Kapan? Kapan?”

People love asking the same question over and over again when I don’t even know the answer myself. And why is that?

Just a heads up though: before you ask the same question and expecting a different answer, you can help them by NOT asking those questions though. Maybe you could start asking what you can do to help them, either introducing them to someone you know or merely shutting your mouth would be a great help.

Sorry if I sound too bitter here lol because I do.

You can ask me about my career projection this year or even several years ahead and I would happily answer that but if you asked me about the future related to a wedding, husband, kids, etc…honestly I couldn’t answer that. The last relationship I had was 10 years ago (if I’m not mistaking lol) and it’s not even a serious one. This is why it was hard for me to answer that kind of question because I seriously don’t know.

And please do not judge me as if I’m not doing anything or not making any efforts regarding that matter. Marriage is a huge deal. It needs commitment and willingness to do whatever it takes to make it works. It’s easy to be committed to your relationship when it’s going well but there are going to be many times when you’re just not going to get your way. It needs sacrifice, understanding, maturity, trust, which really shouldn’t be taken lightly. And that’s why I enrolled myself in a prewedding class last year even though I didn’t have a partner yet lol. It’s a small class with a mentor and with 2 months (or more? sorry I forgot hehe) duration. We have a huge amount of tasks and discussions about marriage, partner, financial, problems that we may face after the wedding, etc and it was a lot. I feel like I need to learn so much before I jump to another phase in my life.

That being said, I do preparing a lot but it’s not my timing yet I guess.

There’s a lot of things I want to write here but since I’m not confident enough to pour all my thoughts here, feel free to read (or judge) a brief of it. Sorry if everything doesn’t add up or even make sense, I just need to ramblings here lol.

But anyway, as Hindia said, “Hidup bukan saling mendahului. Bermimpilah sendiri-sendiri.” That’s it, then. Mari mencari lagi, berusaha lagi, berdoa lagi, and please please please whoever reading this post, wish me luck.

(Really? One post every week? You’re on the roll this year, huh? @ self)

Regards,

Tari

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